“Just the right size.”

Jimmy Carr: Which artist had a TV commercial censored following complaints that it was both possible to see his penis and scrotum?

Kevin Bridges: I put Lady Gaga, Jimmy…

Jimmy Carr: It is not Lady Gaga.

Alan Carr: Aw, I thought it was cause she’s like half rice half chips, isn’t she?

David Mitchell: Which sexuality is rice and which one is chips?

Jimmy Carr: I think chips is heterosexual and rice is homosexual.

Noel Fielding: Surely couscous is gay. Rice isn’t gay…Courgettes are homophobic.

Sarah Millican: I know courgettes are just the right size.

David Mitchell: What a lovely marketing campaign for courgettes! “Just the right size!”

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